"OH MY GOD! How long have you been stuck here?? Shit! Are you OK? Oh Grandma please stop crying, Dad is next door, I will go get him and we will help you up. I will be RIGHT back! Umm, actually, maybe I should get a picture of this first since I know Dad is probably going to be as much of a drama queen about this as you are being right now. Oh fucking relax, it's not like I have to upload it right away, I can do that while Dad is wedging the car jack under you."